Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My helpless mother

"The presentation should be so simple that even your mother can understand it," my boss told me today at work. I couldn't figure out why we were talking smack about each other's mothers, but I told him I'd also order so much lunch for the meeting that even his mother wouldn't walk away hungry.

I'm not sure how my mother got any kind of reputation at work at all, let alone as some dimwit that wouldn't be able to follow powerpoint presentations. My mother has a PhD, has written several books and uses words like "recalcitrant" on a regular basis, so I'm pretty sure she can sit through a few slides.

Telling me to keep my presentation simple enough for her to understand actually gives me a lot more wiggle room than my boss realized. I could make the most exhaustively convoluted presentation imaginable and she'd not only keep up, but she'd probably correct a few mistakes.

It reminds me of my days in University when my instructors would tell us to make our computer programs so user-friendly that even our mothers could understand them. I really don't know why they were slagging my mother, she's actually quite good with computers. If they knew my family a little better they'd have asked me to make the computer program so user-friendly that even my brother wouldn't get pissed off, throw the mouse and tell it to fuck off.

Anyway, I don't know how my mother got any reputation at all, but I'll be sure to let her know that apparently the world thinks she's some kind of lost and confused old lady staring blankly at a Powerpoint presentation while banging helplessly on her keyboard. I'm sure she'll be delighted to know.

Want more of my family humour?

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