Beard Strike

Years ago Gandhi popularized the hunger strike, a passive-resistance act of civil disobedience.

Hunger strikes are very simple, and quite effective. You refuse to eat until your demands are met, and in the meantime the lack of food makes you look emaciated enough to win public sympathy, eventually forcing those in power to negotiate.

Unfortunately I really love food and I wouldn't last very long, so I invented the beard strike. The idea is to refuse to shave until your demands are met. As the beard strike continues my face tends to look more and more like a disaster until those in power have no choice but to give into my demands in complete disgust.

It seems to be just as effective as hunger strikes. Unless you're protesting the lack of intimacy from your partner, in which case it tends to make the situation worse. Other than that, beard strikes work great.


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