Vancouver Riots!
Quotes from last night's thrilling Game 7 of the Stanley Cup, and the aftermath.
"In fairness, this is Vancouver - half of them are just homeless people."
- CBC reporter, looking at the huge crowds outside General Motors Place before the game.
"Don't shoot the puck over the glass, and don't play the puck outside the trapezoid."
- NHL referees' pre-game instructions, reviewing the only two heinous penalties that would be called.
"Yes, we would have had them in overtime if it weren't for him."
- Henrik Sedin, post-game, when asked by the media if this was Luongo's fault
"Does tear gas even work if they're already crying?"
- Vancouver police officer, upon receiving his orders
"Canuck fans cover their faces with masks and scarves after games? I thought only we had to do that."
- Maple Leaf fan
"Actually, all the diving makes our job a lot easier."
- Police riot police, when approaching the protesters
Caption: And they say Vancouver can't score on the road!"USA! USA! USA!"
- Bruins fans after their win, obviously recognising the lone, single American on a team with 15 Canadians out of 20.
"The Canucks lost a hockey game? Oh man, that would totally piss me off."
- Egyptian citizen
"In respect to the NHL, we will also not prosecute head shots."
- Police representative
"Because Vancouver fans only riot after sports."
- Vancouver police, when asked why there were no riots at the Olympics
"Vancouver: Canada's most livable city."
- Every survey ever

Want more sports comedy?


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home