Jughead's Crown

Vollman: Dude, what's that on your buddy's head?

Archie: Who, Jughead?

Vollman: His name is Jughead?

Archie: Yeah. Jughead Jones.

Vollman: Really? Jughead.

Archie: Yeah, Jughead ...

Vollman: And what's that on his head?

Archie: What, his hat?

Vollman: Is that what you call it? Dude, that's not a hat.

Archie: It's not?

Vollman: It's a crown. Your buddy is wearing a crown.

Archie: So?

Vollman: Your friend "Jughead" is wearing a crown. In public.

Archie: Yeah he wears that all the time, never takes it off.

Vollman: Does he think he's a king?

Archie: A king? No, I don't think so.

Vollman: Then why does he always wear a crown?

Archie: I don't know, I guess he likes it.

Vollman: Does he have a rather severe mental illness?

Archie: Jughead?

Vollman: Yes, Jughead. The guy who wears a crown everywhere he goes. Him. Severe mental illness.

Archie: No, I don't think so. What are you getting at?

Vollman: How long have you known Jughead?

Archie: My whole life.

Vollman: And he always wears a crown.

Archie: Yes...?

Vollman: And nobody ever talked to him about it?

Archie: And say what, exactly?

Vollman: I don't know, something like "Dude - you're not a king."

Archie: No, I guess I never thought to say anything.

Vollman: HE'S WEARING A CROWN!

Archie: Why is this making you so upset?

Vollman: Your best friend wears a crown everywhere he goes - a CROWN - and everybody's all cool with that?

Archie: I guess so. That's just sort of his thing.

Vollman: No, listening to Nickelback is a "thing" - this dude is wearing a CROWN. Seriously! What kind of paint did they use in his house?

Archie: I don't know. Listen, can we just drop this?

Vollman: Doesn't the crown bother you? At all?

Archie: No. That's just Jughead. Listen, I should get going ...

Vollman: I mean, it's a crown!

Archie: ... need to put 25 cents in my jalopy ...

Vollman: A CROWN!

Archie: ...



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