Performance Reviews

Part of our company's performance review process is to get feedback from everyone's peers. As a matter of course I provide appropriate feedback, and then add that I think they're a possible Cylon agent.

Most supervisors just ignore my comment, or maybe they ask me "What's a Cylon?" and then we have a little chuckle.

But very occasionally it gets more involved.

Supervisor #1: You wrote here that Jasmine Lee was a possible Cylon agent.
Me: Right.
Supervisor #1: Robert, you realise Battlestar Galactica was just a show, right?
Me: Of course.
Supervisor #1: There are no such things as Cylons.
Me: Right.
Supervisor #1: Seriously - tell me you're just joking around.
Me: Totally!
Supervisor #1: Ok I'm just checking because sometimes I'm not sure with you.
Me: I understand. It's ok.
Supervisor #1: Seriously ... just a show, right?
Me: Right.
Supervisor #1: No Cylons?
Me: No Cylons.

That's not even as strange as it gets.

Supervisor #2: Why do you suspect Larry Jones is a Cylon?
Me: I saw him making out with someone who wasn't even there.
Supervisor #2: Like Gaius Baltar?
Me: Right.
Supervisor #2: But Baltar wasn't a Cylon.
Me: How do you know that? Oh my God. Are you a Cylon?
Supervisor #2: No I'm not a Cylon.
Me: Prove it. Let me see your spine while you're having sex.

Anyway that's usually when someone from HR comes down.

Quite frankly, I don't know why they even bother asking for my feedback. Just pay everyone the absolute minimum amount of money that will keep them from going somewhere else, and be done with it. Quit asking me what I think!